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Sweetest Sin.
Thinking.

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, about my ex-bf. I thought about the post I wrote that day when I was super mad at her for what she said and that I should be a little bit more understanding in the fact that, as a friend , she wants me to be happy. But at the same time, she should know how it is with my life. Which I thought she would understand my point of view and how I deal with all the crazy things that’s been thrown at me.
At this point, I think we both could’ve handled this situation better and we both aren’t right either. I’ve never been so mad at a friend for any reason, and for the fact that she even got me this mad and for all of this to happen between us , it made me remembered that we both are Tauruses and we’re stubborn as fuck . Which probably lead us to fighting like this.
I laid here thinking about all the crazy , fun times we had and compared it to the things I’ve written in my previous post. She was there when times were really hard for me, she does listen, and even when we have a rough day at work or at home, just calling and talking to each other would make our day better. I’m glad she found someone who is able to change her life around and make her feel more of herself compare to how she was before 7-8 years ago. And I wish her best of luck with everything.

Oblivious.

It’s funny how I never seen this coming or actually thought through about our “friendship” of many years. The shit that bugs me the most is how much of a shitty friend u were because all you do is think about yourself and what will benefit YOU when you ain’t got shit. But now that I’ve thought about it, our “friendship” ain’t shit. You’re a terrible person and now I see exactly why you never actually have a set of real friends that’ll always be there. It’s not because “all girls are catty” or any of that bs, maybe it’s you and you’re the problem. You’ll always be the type to hop around lookin for new friends to be with but they’ll never stay, that’s for sure.And the reason for us to not be friends anymore is definitely not just because of MY relationship. It’s because I don’t benefit your ass. It’s true when they say you know who your real friends are when you have “nothing”. Ok, I may not have a job or that much money anymore because I have my family to think about, but I have friends that will always be there for me . When I had a job and all that , of course You was there. But hey, even though I’ve been told by people about how you were or what kind of person you are, I didn’t wanna believe it because I didn’t wanna think like them. They obviously didn’t want a person like you in my life and I can see clearly why now.

You live and you learn to see who will stay true to you. People will come and go and there’s always a good reason why. I am truly blessed to have great friends and family who are always looking out for me. ❤️

Vent.

Tumblr has always been my go-to blogspot so that i can vent whatever shit that has been bothering me. Im glad i am still able to logged into this..ive missed blogging

Anyways, whats new beside the fact that i AM “married” and have a child? ab-so-lute-ly nothing. I thought that my relationship with TMV wouldve gotten better now that we have a ‘family’ but it didnt. Its so sad, but at the same time, i know he cant hurt me like he did before. When i was pregnant, he was not fully there for me..and of course, when im mad, i would not have call him if anything was to happen to me, i.e: i fell down a flight of stairs when i was about 8 or close to 9 months pregnant. Hes always trying to go out..like seriously, this dude will not be able to stay inside for a week!! but lets cut to the chase as to why i am blogging.

My son is 7 months now, and after giving birth,..5 months later (end of september, beginning of october) I’ve taught myself how to coupon from the internet, because i wanna save as much as i can, yet able to help my family out. I’ve also started taking a 300 hour course on getting a Aesthetician License, why? because we want to be able to own a small nail salon business (like a typical vietnamese family) in the future to make a living.He has always rooted (is that how you spell it?) me to go so i did. So, i begin to go to school on certain days..sometimes 10-430, 1-430, 2-430, etc. I was going 930-430 BEFORE but i could not get up that early due to the baby. Afterwards, i would go couponing for about 2-3 hours..MAXED. And he would be at home watching Damien. December came along, and suddenly, he started giving me shit about how im NEVER home. I am ALWAYS out and about. like seriously? doing what? trying to save some money, and go to school so that our family has a future? Please dude, what the fuck are you doing? Work once a day for MY family from 12-4pm, Youre just a stay-at-home dad..like LITERALLY. All you do is look after Damien, play with him, change his diaper and feed him. After a long day of my duty, i come home, i clean the mess that YOU made..i clean 5-6 bottles, bring you coffee home, play with my son, help bathe..doing mommy duty, Do you remember at the beginning everytime i came home from school, you would leave ASAP to go smoke? What, u think im an energizer bunny or something? oh then, on our 1 year wedding anniversary, you did not do shit for me, you didnt give me shit. The entire fucken year, u didnt do shit for me. All i remember is you getting me a birthday cake, and ive recieved flowers in the fall, and that WAS IT for the 12 months. Honestly, i dont ever think you’ve done anything sweet for me, except that ONEEEEEE time , 2 YEARS ago on Valentines day, when you started at that stupid ass Vietnamese restaurant then all of a sudden everything went even MORE down hill from there. But im sure ive written all about it in my previous entries. Wait. Lets get back to the future and lemme finish writing about what you DIDNT do for our 1 year. The next day-monday, we were having dinner after he got out of work..and i was already mad..ready to fucken explode, i confronted him about ‘what happened, why didnt he had anything plan” blahblahblah. and u know what, he had NOTHING to say about our anniversary and JUMPED right into some other irrelevant shit about my couponing getting “out of hands”. seriously, it aint ‘gettin out of hand’ like he think it is. We were already “arguing” before our anniversary though, because friday, i went to class, physical therapy, and went to get his upgraded WEDDING BAND got home around 745. And as soon as i went upstairs, he gave me the most nastiest look because we were having friends over and they were gettin ready to go get the food. Mind you, they arrived as SOON as i parked. So that being said, on our anniversary, i told him THAT was the reason WHY i was late. (oh i forgot to add- i gave him the ring that morning and he hugged me from the back and asked why and shit but i was upset and didnt really say much) When he told me that, nigga said i was fucken LYING because i told him i went couponing instead and didnt make some other stupidd excuse that i went to get his ring. I swear, this nigga makes NO FUCKEN sense. Im sorry, but am i fucken wrong here?. On saturday (the day before our anni) that dumb ass fucken restaurant called him up and ask him to come help decorate the restaurant since christmas is coming up. So. he went..for 3 fucken hours. and with all that time, he couldve planned something for our anniversary. But i tried not to get my hopes up high for that, because knowing him, he wouldnt put that much thoughts into our relationship. But i was hoping for something.

lets continue. During our argument at Dinner time, he goes..’why the fuck u gotta bring it up over dinner and not upstairs?” and i said , “because damien was there? u wanna fucken argue when hes around?” ..this dude yo. no fucken comment.Then we argued some more upstairs because i walked out during dinner since he was pissing me off with the shit he was saying. As we were arguing, i said something about him not gettin me shit. Then he said ‘i got u a fucken card’ i said ‘so where the fuck is it?” he said ‘its downstairs in the babys room”. ‘so why didnt u fucken give it to me?!’ , “because were fucken arguing”. ARE YOU SERIOUS. the last time i remember, people usually give something to their significant other such as a card, flowers, etc. to say sorry. Right? Right. But nope. not this d-bag. That night, i left the house to get some fresh air. Came home, and he left to go to this nigga house to drink. I went into the room, and found the card. I opened it..and guess what? It was really NOTHING but a card that says happy anniversary to my wife and some OTHER stuff on it that the card came with. But he didnt WRITE SHIT on it. theres no “from husband to wife’ NOTHING. NOTHING WRITTEN FROM HIM. HOW UPSETTING IS THAT SHIT?! its obvious he got that card MONDAY MORNING when he was at work. That card is garbage, it doesnt mean SHIT AND IT BELONGS IN THE TRASH!.

2013.

oh man, i havent logged into Tumblr in ages! .

well..meet my little man, Damien. He is truly the apple of my eyes :)

as if life cant get any crazier. lol

one day, someone will appreciate all the things that i do , because you simply cant. 

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